Depilation Drudgery

I strongly dislike shaving. Maybe because it takes so long, maybe because I do it while showering and thus am not wearing my glasses and thus nick myself all the time, maybe because it reminds me how fat my thighs are. I do like the feeling of soft, smooth, hairless legs, though, so in the spring and summer (i.e. during seasons where one cannot justify wearing pants to cover one's calves all the time) I pick up that razor. I pick up that razor maybe once a week because goldarnit, even though I hate seeing my stubble, I can't be bothered to shave away those short, annoyingly dark "maybe no one will notice—who's looking at my ankles anyway?" hairs. (More power to the girls who decide to stay au naturel; I just don't have the guts for that. Though I don't wear makeup for a multitude of reasons, I'm still a servant to the shaver.)

So two weeks ago I noticed that a Nair + Special Two-Sided Sponge set was on sale at CVS. It promised convenience! It promised remaining hairless for longer! It promised that I too would be a high-kicking, grinning girl in short shorts! So I bought it, and I tried it. And again today, just to make sure I hadn't messed up the first time. But no. 

After slathering on and rinsing off this foul-smelling, chemical-loaded cream, my shins became stubbly again just as quickly as they do after shaving (like two days—my head hair doesn't grow that fast!). More frustratingly, though, this so-called depilatory didn't even depilate all those bristles that interfere with my chances of being found by model scouts on the street (sarcasm)—I had to shave afterward anyway! I had to methodically mow the random patches that the lazy grazing cows had left behind.

So now I am doubly irritated: firstly because my leg hair growth never takes a breather and secondly because the magical solutions provided for that very problem are not, in fact, magical solutions. Unless anyone has recommendations that do not require lasers or scalding hot wax, I am resigned to wielding bits of sharp metal, hoping that my knees don't start bleeding again—at least until corduroy weather rolls around.

On a similar "I am slightly pissed off" note, I have to wake up in seven hours to join the family on a visit to a college that wait-listed me way back when. Yup, I'm still bitter.

On an unrelated note, I finally watched "Donnie Darko." Wow.